Thomas De Quincey: I get you.

Dear Adderall,

With your help, I’ve been able to focus on my schoolwork for an hour, in a setting that would normally drive me mad: a cafe in which the staff are playing catchy music, and in which there are people bustling around and chatting with one another. Instead of being led away by the beautiful beats and ambient noise (and memories of fun times that were accompanied by beautiful beats), my mind has been able to stay focused on my studying.  Rather than being an infernal distraction, the commotion seems to promote an awareness of time passing, which helps to keep me on track  (I chose to study in a cafe rather than at home for that reason). This subjective state of heightened (yet not anxious) attention is fabulous, and I want my internal space to feel like this all the time!

I credit this lovely sense of awareness and enhanced willpower, as well as the productivity that has resulted from those factors, to a combination of my motivation, and the magic you work on my brainmeats, Adderall.  Under your spell, I am able to remain mentally stable and focus seemingly at will, something which I find nearly impossible to do otherwise (even in ideal environments). This is a revelation!

Once you’re off patent and become more affordable, I’ll be able to keep my brainmeats under your influence more consistently. That will be an exciting time indeed; my stimulant-fuelled brainmeats and I will have the power to take over the world! Mwahahaha!

(Or maybe I’ll just accomplish my work-related goals, now that I’ve found a reliable way to make my body and mind sit still. That would be awesome too.)

(And instead of supporting Big Pharma indefinitely, I’ll contribute a less-substantial portion of my lifetime earnings to a manufacturer of generic drugs instead. That will help me to sleep at night.)

Oooh! Shiny!

–Just Kidding,



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